Graduation Time!

One of my favorite photos from this past year is this one:

The girls are pictured with my sister, Melissa, at her graduation from veterinary school at Texas A&M University. It was such a proud day, and one that Melissa had worked toward for a VERY long time.

The great thing about the picture is that it makes me think of two things:

1)  How proud we all were of Melissa. And that includes Alex & Maryssa – they were in awe of everything they saw. Meli took us on a tour of the school – showing us where she learned and talking about all of her experiences. Alex & Maryssa’s eyes were huge as they looked at all of the animal skeletons, the biology room, met the ostrich and the horses that Meli had to care for. It was a whole new world.

2)  What is in store for Alex and Maryssa! We joked at the time that it was the girls’ first official college visit, but really, that is true. To them “college” has always been some undefined thing, usually associated with a mascot or a sports team. Somewhere all the grown-ups have been and a place they’ll go to some day. They’ve never gone and seen classrooms or labs before. So in a sense, they got to see what their future might look like one day. Maybe not at Texas A&M, but somewhere. And they heard about what Meli went through to earn that cap and gown, that medal she’s wearing, and the diploma with the fancy writing.

So I’m sharing this photo with all of you. Really it's just a cute pic of the girls with their aunt. But I love it for more than that. 

I’m not the perfect mom.

Hey, guess what all you perfect moms out there: I don't think you're all as perfect as you seem.

Take me for instance: I've really got my shit together, don't I? Don't you wish you could be more like me? Well behaved kids, a nice house, and I throw great parties, right?

Well I've got news for you. I'm going to share some of my dirty little secrets, so you'll know just how perfect I am. This is what kind of mom I really am:

1 - I almost never wash the dishes before I go to bed at night. In fact, I usually wait until we're totally out of bowls and silverware and my kids have to eat cereal out of Tupperware containers before I cram everything into the dishwasher without even rinsing things off. I can sleep soundly even with a full sink of dirty dishes. No problem.

2 - Despite my reputation as a stellar cook, I have about 20 dishes I've been cooking for 15 years. If my kids like something, I cook the hell out of it. And when you come over, I'll cook it for you, too. If they like it, surely you and your family will as well. 18 of those 20 recipes are based on pasta and something out of a jar or can.

3 - I have a cleaning service that cleans my house every other week. And I'm this close to making enough money to up it to weekly. I don't spend my time cleaning anything.

4 - When I'm having guests over, I hide clutter and stuff I haven't had time to put away wherever I can. The washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, laundry bins, drawers, closets. Don't open anything, you never know what you'll find.

5 - I am super-strict with my kids. They have at least 5 chores they do every day before they can play or read or do anything else, and that includes practicing the piano. Yes, piano is a chore – why do you think they’re so good? No piano, no dessert. And God help them if they take a drink or food out of the kitchen. The holy wrath of Mom will descend if another trail of ants appears because they’ve left a cracker box in the living room.

6 - At Christmas, I buy multiples of the same gift and give it to everyone. I'm super excited this year because I think Pinterest will do all the hard work for me. Don't worry, I found you the perfect gift, you'll love it!

And my final big dirty secret is this: I can let it go. That’s right. Dishes and laundry, dirty floors, dusty shelves, moldy food in the back of the fridge and even the dog hair in the corner. When it comes to being a good mom, I'll let all those nasty do-it-now things go so that I can play a game, go get yogurt or spend an extra moment at bedtime to hear about the volcano project. And when it comes to keeping my sanity, I'll let just about any chore go so I can get to bed at a reasonable hour, go for a run or watch a hockey game. 

So next time you're worried about how good a mom you are, feel free to compare yourself to me. I'm up for it, and I have far more little dirty secrets than the ones I’ve mentioned here. Feel free to use the fact that I’ll leave clean, unfolded laundry sitting around for days make you feel better about yourself – I don’t care. And when you’ve finally figured out how to let things go, give me a call and we’ll have a glass of wine – on the porch, because the house doesn’t get cleaned until tomorrow.

And for those of you who still insist on being perfect, have fun with that. 

Iconic Pics: “ALL the Colors!”

So here is a classic image of two girls who have not yet reached the age where they care what they wear, or whether it matches or how it looks. Can’t you tell?

I snapped this photo at Epcot in January of 2011. The girls are doing that game for kids where they hunt through the park for things using a fake cell phone that gives them clues. What was the name of it?

Oh, whatever. The point is, when we’re on vacation, I sometimes give Alex & Maryssa the opportunity to pretty much do what ever they want. With the exception of being ready to go at the same time as everyone else, they can eat what they want, sleep however late they want, and – as evidenced here by Maryssa's wardrobe for the day – wear what they want.

And while this was only a short year and a half ago, we’ve definitely entered a new phase. Now hair bows need to match, and even nail polish and socks are changed to go with certain outfits. 

I’ll always look back on this photo as a reminder of a time when getting dressed was more of an adventure. As Maryssa said one time when she was about five years old, “Mom, I want to wear ALL the colors!” 

The 8 Phases of a Kids Transition

Once you've had kids for a while, you realize that whenever something new or different is coming up, you'll have to go through a whole series of phases where both you and the kids go crazy for a while. It's ok, it always happens, and there's nothing you can do to keep these phases from happening. You just have to live through them.

The 8 Phases of a Kid's Transition into Something New:

1. Anticipation of the upcoming change
2. Worrying about it
3. Stressing and not sleeping because the change is coming
4. The first day: chaos
5. Surviving the first week
6. More change! Change the thing that was already different
7. Surviving a second week of chaos
8. The new thing becomes the routine

Of couse, some of these phases even have sub-phases that involve crying, tantrums, faking illness and sometimes even children begging their parents to "please please don't make me go to that place again!"

It takes time, but eventually the chaos is toned down and kids accept their fate, even beginning to not hate it too much. After a couple of weeks, everyone gets a good nights sleep and the normalcy begins to return.

As we move into the third week of 7th grade, I'm hoping that this is the week where our transition becomes more of a routine. We've been living in chaos for months now with our renovation and the start of school added to that. I'm ready for things to calm down to a dull roar again.

I'm still waiting for that first good nights sleep, though...

The first week of school

So here we are, a week into the 7th grade. I never thought this day would come, and I'm pretty sure that Alex & Maryssa were praying that it wouldn't.

The week was crazy. In case you didn't notice, Wake County has had some issues with its buses*, which caused the girls to be late to school most mornings and then to spend nearly 2 hours on the bus every afternoon before they could get home. Honestly, who needs travel stress when you're in the 7th grade? Can we just leave all the peer pressure, scheduling issues (only 5 minutes between classes?!) and homework stress alone without adding the BUS to the list?

On top of that, the school realized 5 days in that both girls were in all the wrong core classes. So they changed them on Friday. Which means that Alex & Maryssa are both going to completely different classes with different teachers today than they had last week. Feels a lot like, "Wasn't last week FUN?! Let's do it AGAIN!"

Honestly, I think that if we can all get through today we'll be good. I'm not going to hold out any hope that there won't be tears, or yelling. Those are usually a given.

My only question is - what kind of sweets should I arrive home with today?


*For those of you not in the Raleigh local area, our county is all kinds of messed up. This week's story is about bussing. I'm sure its on CNN, everything else we do wrong around here is.